i had a bad day

4th July 2006 marks another milestone in my life: I cried in the office for the very first time, kena bullied. When I was rushing updating the status report for June, the xx manager came to my table, threw the submission form on my desktop, which was prepared by me few days ago (My supervisor instructed me to prepare), using a very unfriendly tone, with annoyed face, said this, “This is my last time telling you, in future, no forms will be submitted using your name! You are not in the organization chart, you get me?!”  

My instant “bisikan hati” was like: what the heck? It was my supervisor’s instruction to submit the form together with the inspection and test plan to the consultant! If you are not happy with this, you should approach my immediate superior or even the project manager, not me I guess… Just don’t act if you are so great in front of me…  

Actually this was not the 1st time that this bastard bugged me with his nuisance accuses. I was so pestered, really not feeling like entertaining him AT ALL. I just raised my eyelids a bit and “jelling” him and replied with mono-tone, “Ok…” And then I just ignored him and resumed updating the status report. Siapa tau, he got pissed off, and banged on my table and shouted at me, “When people talking to you, you listen!” He then went off. I was really shocked by the sudden bang. I was ok, until Ah Pui and Hung Mun came over to my place. My tears streamed down without me knowing it… then I sobbed and then I burst into tears and cried aloud as more and more people came to my place to comfort me.  

I asked myself: Why did you cry?

The answers:

·            I’m so right and yet the bastard is so wrong, BUT I can’t fight back, what I can do when he humiliated me is to keep quiet, keep calm, can’t even raise my voice, I CAN DO NOTHING! What have I done wrong that I have to bear with this kind of humiliation?

·            Recently, I always have the feeling of inferiority… in terms of appearance, knowledge, English proficiency, family background and etc. and etc, just name it… A bunch of people tend to bully me using their seniority… and to my disappointment, I found out a fact: (you people out there, be frank, it’s true, right?) hot chicks receive better treatment than I do… much better treatment, you know? I just feel so bad about myself… (there’s one “Plastic Surgery George” near my office, sometimes really feel on an impulse to go and check out the price =p) 

I’m really out of spirits and dishearten nowadays, wonder where all my kiasu-ness and hyper-activeness have gone…


1 Response to “i had a bad day”

  1. 1 teh July 14, 2006 at 12:04 am

    em………….. dun kno wat to say, juz feel like to comfort u… dun worry, u got us as ur back-up, juz stay cool with wat u ar, u ar definitely not that bad as wat u say, at least ur english proficiency is much much much muchx100 higher than ME!!!!! does look at the positive side, and nothing wrong as u did not fight back, GOD will judge it.
    by the way, check the plastic surgery price for me as well!!!! hahaha….
    stay COOL, we ar always there.

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