Archive for June, 2006

weight loss & weight gain

When I first entered KUiTTHO, I was very skinny…  

Hui Ling, “Thin, with hollow cheeks, like drug addict…”

Felicia, “You look like a lizard or a monkey…”

No matter how many tons of food I ate, I still remained that thin along my 1st year in KUiTTHO, but not after I went for a blood donation for the very first time in my life. Since then, I could see that a buoy was forming around my waist as well as the tummy! I found myself panting whenever I climbed the stairs all the way up to my room, and that I had difficulty squatting down!! Not to mention, I found myself heavy whenever I was walking… the situation went worse during the long break on March 2002, I worked part time as a hostess at a Chinese restaurant of a 4-star hotel. The food prepared was just so irresistible! I kept on bloated until my friend called me “roti yang berkembang dalam air (发水面包)”…

But luckily with my athletics training during the 1st semester of 2nd year, I managed to slim down. Then, along my 2nd and 3rd year studies in KUiTTHO, I was like a balloon, blown up during every long break and deflated during the studying semesters.  

From a balloon, I transformed into a very muscular lady and then to a skeleton-alive. During the 4th year in KUiTTHO (July 2004 – Feb 2005), I really set my heart to win a medal in MASUM (an inter-universities sports day). I underwent hell like athletics training almost everyday. Thanks to the hill run and gym sessions, I was so built that time, with my muscular and big arms and thighs, and I was even with 6-pack on my abdomen (light one la, not that geli like body-builder’s)! 

Owing to the intensive athletics training, sometimes I was anorectic. There was time when I did not feel like eating at all or ate very little but then felt like vomiting after eating.  

Sometimes I got symptoms like a bulimia nervosa patient as well. I used to eat 2-person’s meals per dinner and yet still feeling not full (and I remained thin as well)! I was so broke (spent too much on food) that I had to seek consultation from the clinic. I told the doctor that I suspected there were parasites inside my stomach which absorbed a big part of my predigested food… I could see that the doctor was trying so hard to “tahan gelak” that time but in the end she did gave me Zentel for consumption.  

I showed the Zentel to Kar Guan during class, and you know what he did next? He went in front of the theater, grabbed the microphone and announced to the whole class, “Everyone, attention please! Please do not tell anyone that there are gonna be worms in Samantha’s shit!” The whole class burst into laughter.  

Weirdly, during my final year, I got this sudden weight drop of 6 kg even though I was still with my extraordinary big appetite! I was so thin that everyone, I must emphasize, it’s EVERYONE seeing me would ask what’s wrong with me that I was so thin… I was worried actually; thinking of this might be a red light for my health. I went for a medical check up and blood test, nothing’s wrong though… Hui Ling and Nyet Feng even dragged me to seek consultancy from a Chinese sensei. I took this advantage to eat like a dinosaur then. I took 5 heavy meals everyday, but then I was still this size… 

I’m now back to normal, to a balloon and starting to put on weight because food cooked by my mom is also very irresistible! Kinda miss those good old days when I can eat like a dinosaur and still remain slim… From now onwards, I have to control my diet, I do not want myself to look like an INFLATED balloon!



不舍得is a phase which I found cannot be expressed perfectly using the English vocabulary I know or shall I say, cannot be translated into English…Haha! There’s really an urgent need for me to improve my vocab I guess.   Is it “can’t bear”? Should it be “can’t stand”? No I guess… both mentioned are more to 不能忍受. Friends out there, let me know the correct word if u all know ya!  

Flipping through the dictionary, only I realize that there’s difference between 不舍得 and 舍不得不舍得is defined this way: 不愿意割舍;吝惜while the definition for 舍不得sounds like this: 很爱惜,不忍放弃或离开,不愿意使用或处置。  

I find myself kena attack by this feeling of  舍不得quite frequent… Some of the examples:-  

Every morning, I’m so 舍不得 my bed and my blanket and all my soft toys…they are just too sweet to be left…  

Planning to shift out, find a condo unit near my office (hopefully with swimming pool =p ), so that I can have more time to rest, to eliminate the frustration of being trapped in the never-ending traffic jam and I’VE SPENT TOO MUCH ON PETROL I GUESS But I just do not want to be alone, and I super 舍不得 my mom’s 阿妈靓汤and her warmth… even though she tends to nag too much…

And deep inside my heart, I know it is a rock solid fact that something has over, life has to move on, I just couldn’t help, I miss someone’s goodness very much… even though I myself also doubted whether or not the goodness really does exist…

I just can be a civil engineer… =p

This week, I am attached to the M & E Department of SMART project. I feel a bit guilty actually because it seems that I’m troubling everyone there as all the leng jaiSss and a leng lui in the department have to squeeze extra time out of their hectic schedules to brief me through the M & E roles and components in SMART. 

Friends from KUiTTHO, I never like anything related to Encik Agung Wibowo, u know? Inclusive of the subject, “Elektronik, Digit dan Instrumentasi”… I got a B- only for that subject…what a shame…  But along this week, my brain is jammed with electrical and mechanical terms like HV, LV, switch gear, transformer, switch board, UPS, circuit breaker, 3f, single f, pumps, gates, SCADA, hub, VOIP, leaky feeder, Yagi antenna and etc. These are all aliens to me before this… just imagine my blurriness  during the briefing… But all the seniors are very kind-hearted, whenever they see my puzzled face, they will comfort me, saying that, “it’s ok if you don’t understand, too technical.”   

Well, today is my last day as trainee in M & E department. I have this kind of relief: luckily, I’m just a civil engineer…  Civil stuffs like structure, steel, soil mechanics, hydrology, hydraulics and etc. are more comprehensive to me than current @ circuit, wavelength, motors… I’m always poor in M & E stuffs (motors, circuit and etc.) even when I was in form 4 and form 5, taking physics…Haha! Bersyukrlah!

which country do u come from? =D

Today, i went out for lunch with my senior from M & E department, Afzal and a chinese subcon, Mr. Lim. After I introduced myself, Mr. Lim prompted me with this question, “Which COUNTRY do u come from?” I was stoned… was he trying to ask which state do i come from? “Ermmmmmm…. I’m…. err…a malaysian…”
“Oh really? But u look so much like a Vietnamese!”
“Is this a compliment or what, Mr. Lim?”
“Oh! Of course it’s compliment!”
This is actually the second time that someone told me I look like a Vietnamese liao… When I was still in Parit Raja, one day, i was on a cab with a Pakistani or Bangladeshi. He asked me this using quite good slang, “Are u a Malaysian?”
“Yes, of course!”
“But u look very much like a Vietnamese!” Really kena bomb that time. I was thinking, should i really go find out how does a vietnamese look like? And i think it’s kinda CONVINCING enough for a foreign worker to tell me that i look like a VIETNAMESE…

a meaningful message

I’d like to quote a meaningful message from my dear friend:


A good thinking material

I came across this article and found it inspiring and giving me rooms to think about the underlying philosophy =)
Share with all my dear friends:-



1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.



2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry.



3. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.



4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.



5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’t have them.



6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.


7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.



8. Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.



9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.



10. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.



11. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around. 



12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.



13. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.




緊記: 所有事也是因果循環的。

True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?

真正朋友: 有幾多人有八位真正的朋友?


Hardly anyone I know! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

我幾乎不認識這些人! 但在我們當中有些人全有對和好的朋友!!!

Heartfelt elaborations about making bad decisions

In her book entitled “The Story Factor”, Annette Simmons stated that bad decisions are made because…emotions like anxiety, greed, exasperation, intolerance, apathy, or fear have hijacked their brains and directed them to take the easy way out, the path of least resistance, the safe route, or the taking care of number one. Sigh… no wonder I’ve made so many bad decisions and discussions recently… Quite regret over what I’ve done actually,  but I know, without the experiences, I wont be dawned that I was so WRONG…

I spot you, creativity!

Series #9 Light bulb reuse!

Reflection of the day

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Inside the glass bottle…

“I want to walk tall, believe in myself, have the courage to ask for what I want and need, and live a life that mattered. I want to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face and know that I am loved and that I belonged. I am desperate to feel worthy and I am hungry for the opportunity to live my fullest potential.” - modified from "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" - Debbie Ford

Under the apple tree…

"If you are not spending all of your waking life in discontent, worry, anxiety, depression, despair, or consumed by other negative states; if you are able to enjoy simple things like listening to the sound of the rain or the wind; if you can see the beauty of clouds moving across the sky or be alone at times without feeling lonely or needing the mental stimulus of entertainment; if you find yourself treating a complete stranger with heartfelt kindness without wanting anything from him or her... it means that a space has opened up, no matter how briefly, in the otherwise incessant stream of thinking that is the human mind." - A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle

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Ich lese….

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The time keeper by Mitch Albom

The art of thinking clearly by Rolf Dobelli

The first phone call from heaven by Mitch Albom

Inferno by Dan Brown

For one more day by Mitch Albom

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez

A study in scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

The five people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albom

Have a little faith by Mitch Albom

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

To kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

The Brain that Changes Itself by Norman Doidge

Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

A Fresh Start by John Chapman

Inspiring quotes!

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other? (God in "Evan Almighthy")
“To love another person is to see the face of God.” ― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain
Aggie: "But what about the people who hurt you? Don't you ever want to make them suffer?" Norman Babcock: "Well, yeah, but what good would that do? You think just because there's bad people that there's no good ones either? I thought the same thing for a while. But there's always someone out there for you. Somewhere." - Paranorman
“You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry, don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.” by Walter Hagen
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, body totally worn out and screaming "WOOOHOOOO what a ride!" - by anonymous
When you travel, it’s not like you take a part of each place away with you; rather, it’s as if you leave a part of yourself there, like a part of you forever belongs to that place – the time, the people, and the things you saw; and over time, it gets burned deeper into your soul - by anonymous